The brain, a physical part of the body, is constantly in use basically keeping us alive every second of every day in many facets. The mind, considered to be the mental aspect of a person, helps to make us who we are, the uniqueness of us, something that separates us from each other and the basics of what the human brain functionalities are. Therefore whilst we cannot survive without a functioning brain, we grow as a person through our minds.
The human brain and mind is a phenomenal thing. We never stop long enough on a daily basis to actually consider how amazing they are.
So although I should give much more credit than I have here on the brain, the purpose of this writing is to consider the mind and its effect on us every single day.
It doesn’t matter if you are:
a toddler
a teenager
an adult
a person who didn’t finish high school
a person who has studied the human mind all their adult life
a president,
a homeless person, etc, etc...
...our minds have their own library of memories, events and reasonings that it utilises every second of every day:
Even when we are sleeping;
Even when we are meditating;
Even when we think we are thinking nothing.
It is constantly ~ whirring
assessing
learning
considering, and
reminding us of things...
...to help us with our present moment in time.
We naturally work with our own ingredients first
Some of that learning comes from personal experience and so when we only have our own learned experience to relate to, sometimes we can be repeating things that aren’t really that helpful – but it’s all we know to do, so we keep doing it.
Some of the reasonings come from understanding more about the “why” we are feeling the way we are, the awareness, and so this allows the opportunity to consider that there may be more than one way to do something about a situation or maybe to avoid dealing with it at all.
The memories of past experiences are often the glue that helps to keep things in perspective... or not! Reflections or triggers – depending on how they make you feel – of past events create the foundation of how to handle or react to things in the present time.
The key point to remember here is that it doesn’t matter what walk of life you come from or how well versed you may be in understanding the human psyche – we are all human beings first and so we will operate as human beings first and then depending on how aware, understanding, and open we are to our mind do we begin to work on our mind battles.
Why do these daily battles exist though - if we are aware of triggers then how come we don’t just fix them?
Aaahhh – the million-dollar question!
We do – but life is constantly changing and creating new scenarios for us to work through - that IS life! And perhaps rather than looking at how we minimise triggers or reactions to things we instead look at the other aspect of this question:
We can choose whether we have daily battles to win or daily challenges to enjoy.
Instead of trying to control what happens to us, how about we look to control how we sit with the situation?
This creates less of a reactive “waiting for it to happen to me then I’ll do something about it” scenario and more of a “being more in control of how the situation is presenting itself to me so that I can manage how I will cope with it” one.
This, of course, is easier said than done otherwise we would all be living in nirvana (Buddhists' idyllic state). And we do still have the choice – to try or not to try.
And to try and “make” ourselves live by such values really doesn’t create the flow we are looking for. All that will do is put more pressure on ourselves until we crack under the increasing need to get it right all of the time.
So... what can we do to start in a proactive way?
Start with one – teeny weeny – thought for the day (or battle if that’s where your head is right now). Ask your mind to just be quiet for a minute while you reassess the thought on the promise that you will come back to it to seek understanding. Then slowly and intentionally think “what CAN I do about this right now?”
Giving yourself permission to consider an alternative way of thinking is the first, and a very significant, step towards not seeing things as daily battles to grapple with but as challenges to overcome or truly be accepting of.
Let’s not be hard on ourselves though. If we never had a “battle” day then we would never understand what a positive challenging day would look like and wouldn’t life be utterly boring if everything was just perfectly balanced?... Go on, it’s ok to say it would be boring! But believe me, there are plenty of challenges that life will happily put in our path to keep us practising a more positive outlook and from that, we will constantly grow to rely on new learnings and new reasonings.
Changing mindsets and behaviours does take time and desire. If you have those then I also have that for you. If you feel that you no longer want to have “battles” in your mind and instead be more positive, resilient and in control, then contact me in confidence at yvonne@ymrcoaching.com so we can discuss your personal situation and find a way together that works for you.
© YMR Coaching & Development
Yvonne has qualifications in Coaching, Positive Psychology, and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and believes in continual personal development. She is currently based in the UK and also has life and work experience in Ireland, New Zealand and Australia. She helps with mindset wellbeing and change which includes significant relocations. She is contactable for client availability, public speaking events and media enquiries here: https://www.ymrcoaching.com/helpful-links