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  • Writer's pictureYvonne Rosney

That Elusive Word: Happiness. What is it Really?


Black sign with bold yellow capital letters spelling the word happy from top to bottom
Photo: Designecologist

Happiness.


It’s a great word.


A positive word.


A single word that holds such power and belief.


Looks a very solid word – although it isn’t – it’s slippery, fluid, and can never seem to be held and owned. Like a mirage.


It’s a destination down a dusty desert road that never seems to have an end to it – never seems to have a “Welcome to Happiness” sign as you arrive.


Happiness.

It’s like a drug we feel we need to feel good, to be good, to be successful, to be – well, happy.


Man looking out of the window looking through binoculars searching for something wearing a blue t-shirt and deep orange knitted hat
Photo: Laker

Where we have gone wrong since, like forever, is that we keep trying to ‘find’ happiness as if it is an object or a tangible thing that we can win, find, hold, steal in order to avail of the juices of its insides. We don’t seek out to ‘find’ sadness, frustration, or anger do we? Yet we seek to find happiness.



These are all emotions though, not things.

And emotions come from within not from outside.

Yet we keep looking outwardly to our horizons looking for it – not only are we absolutely looking in the wrong direction, but we’re also looking for something we will never see because it isn’t a thing and we will never reach it because it isn’t a destination!


No wonder we’re worn out looking for it!!

Ok. So... here is the irony. Not only do we have happiness already, it is actually within us and the only obstacle that is preventing us from experiencing it is – US!


When you read that, it seems super easy to attain now doesn’t it?!


Yet we still seem to struggle to either believe that statement or to feel it. Why? Because what we have used as a driving force to put up with unhappiness, discontent and struggle is the euphoria that once we suffer this, have done that, sacrificed the other... we will get to happiness.


woman pointing to a place on an opened map book as she sits in the driver's seat of the car, searching for a place to go with the sun shining in through the window onto the map
Photo: Dominika Roseclay

The single hardest thing to retrain our mind is that happiness ain’t out there at the end of a compass or on a map. It is inside us and isn’t a thing but a feeling. And that we can feel it simply by sitting exactly where we are, exactly as you read this, exactly accepting that you have happiness inside of you somewhere already. And for some that will bring disappointment, angst, disbelief – that means you haven’t yet accepted that you do indeed have happiness inside you. For others, you may experience a slight smile coming on your face, a closing of your eyes whilst you take a deep breath in, or an imaginary hug of yourself as you finally realise that you have had happiness all along.


Regular touching base with your happiness will feed it and help it to grow from the little tiny seedling it is to a beautiful and robust plant that simply exudes loveliness. Being present with your happiness every single day will help you look out on the horizon to see different aspects, different aspirations and dreams – which by the way were there all along too but you couldn’t see them before because you were too busy looking for happiness!


A woman with her back to the camera wearing a red summer dress and summer hat with her hands reaching up to the sky whilst standing in a field of tall sunflowers facing the camera and bubbles floating in the air
Photo: Andre Furtado

You don’t believe you have the opportunity to experience your own happiness? Why don’t you get in touch with me and let’s see if working together we can help change your mind on that. As with anything in life, it is your choice – do you choose to want to seek happiness with help or will you keep looking out yonder in the hope that you will land on the Island of Happiness first?


If you would like to at least have a chat to look at the possibility of you being able to find what you already hold, then get in touch with me here.


I look forward to hearing from you.





© YMR Coaching & Development

 

Yvonne has qualifications in Coaching, Positive Psychology, and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and believes in continual personal development. She is currently based in the UK and also has life and work experience in Ireland, New Zealand and Australia. She helps with mindset wellbeing and change which includes significant relocations. She is contactable for client availability, public speaking events and media enquiries here: https://www.ymrcoaching.com/helpful-links

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