A New Start Anxiety
Feeling anxious about starting your new life in a new place?
Excited that you are doing it but in the same breath feeling all uncertain.
Worrying about whether you are doing the right thing?
Welcome to normality!
You may also need to add concerns over what your partner and children are thinking about all this too.
Woe woe woe…
And just like that - you have a whole stomach-churning, bag full of anxiety, messing with your head. Suddenly it feels real. Suddenly you’re not too sure whether it’s what you want to do at all.
And yet you feel you have to suppress that because you have to go tell your family and loved ones that you are leaving and show it with excitement and glee on your face and you have to keep the positive face on for your partner and kids that this is 100% the right thing to do.
Anxiety - it can be quite debilitating eh?
Look, if you remove that feeling (just for a second), does everything else still look and feel right; that it’s the right decision? If yes, then you are just feeling a little afraid about the change and that is totally ok. If no, then don’t tell the family yet. Work through the “bit” that’s derailing you. Find out what part of this situation is really not sitting well with you.
Maybe your anxiety is more directed towards how your partner, kids and family will feel about your desire to move. Then focus on one thing at a time. Discuss it with your partner. Allow for time. You may have been thinking about this for a while but you’ve only landed it on their doorstep now. Even if they are initially excited by the prospect, still talk things through. Then if there is unity there, decide how and in what way you will broach it with the children. Make sure your initial family circle are all feeling ok about such a decision, then extend the news out to other members of the family. It’s a group decision. It’s a group story.
But what if you don’t have a “group” to have a group decision with? What if it’s just you? What if you don’t have to worry about partners and children but you are still all knotted up about it all?
It’s ok. It’s just the tension inside your head from the ‘what if’ thoughts rattling around in there. You need to get it outside of your head or find a way to work through it. You need to ‘see’ it outside of your head so that you can really understand if it’s just a little worry or a really important point that you haven’t considered. Get it outside of your head in any which way works for you: journaling, drawing, dictating, singing, mind maps, painting, DIY, baking, music, gardening, meditating, running…. You get what I mean, right?
Some of these tasks physically make you write down your words or express them. Some of them distract your conscious mind to allow your subconscious mind to methodically work through your angst.
Quite amazing when you think about it.
The most important thing is to not suppress your anxiety about starting a new life somewhere. It is a normal reaction. It’s what you do with that reaction that is the key to keeping in control of what is going on for you right now. Feel comfort in that, and then telling the whole world your decision will just help to fuel the excitement more and more - as it should.
Congratulations on your decision to move - I wish you safe travels and exciting times!!
If you feel that you resonate with this or need help with something else, then please reach out to me. I am here to help. You can contact me through my website, LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook.
© YMR Coaching & Development